Rest in peace, Grandpa

I have such good brothers, you know that? I have always been very close with my two brothers. I can think of some of the times when I have had very difficult moments, emotionally. My brothers are always there for me. It's soothing. They each have their wife, but they are always standing there, ready to hold me up at just the right time, when I am wishing that I had a significant other, like them, to hold me up for just a minute when I really need it.

Tonight was Grandpa's viewing. I have supressed my feelings, overall, all week. I knew the moment I looked at pictures and waited to see him (which I wasn't really sure I wanted to, since I'm not a fan of open-casket viewings), I would be a goner! Sure enough. I spent a few moments looking at the photo display my mom put together and even though I had seen all the pictures a million times, there was one imparticular...nothing special, just a candid shot, that really got me going. I turned around and my little brother was standing there...almost like he was waiting for my moment of vulnerability to kick in and I collapsed in his embrace. About the time I pulled myself together and he walked away, I walked into the room and for some reason the flood gates opened once again. As they did, my older brother I suppose saw me or could just sense that I needed someone, as I stood there alone. I cried. And cried. And now I am getting teary-eyed, thinking of it. Why is it so hard to let go of someone, when you are glad they have gone and are at peace? So many great memories of Grandpa and it was nice to see him at peace tonight, even though I don't really think it looked much like him.

This song was one I heard numerous times in New Orleans, the weekend my Grandpa passed...it made me tear up every time I heard it!

Some glad morning when this life is o'er,
I'll fly away;
To a home on God's celestial shore,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).

I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).

When the shadows of this life have gone,
I'll fly away;
Like a bird from prison bars has flown,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away)

I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).

Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away;
To a land where joy shall never end,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away)

I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).