Someone else's thought

I was recently blog stalking (I know, I know) and came across some random person's blog that I don't know, but I LOVED what she had written. I am not taking credit, but don't know who the girl is, so can't really give her much credit (other than I assume she is Lauren, or that person she calls Lauren in this post), but I really like what she's written...makes me want to email her and be friends with her - my thoughts exactly, but since she puts it so beautiful already, I am just going to repost! Thank you, Lauren, or nameless girl I don't know!

dear world:

for the past 9 months i have totally taken you for granted... but on the other hand... i had my own little world i needed to figure out. gasping in this microcosm for breaths of air coming from outside of the saturated bubble of people who actually know what the word REAL means... i seriously thought i was going to be stuck in a place where people thrive off of trends... a constant competition of who has the latest urban wear... the newest accessories they claim to be what's "in"... and their tongue speaks that of what they only want others to hear.... blah. get me outta here! uh yeah i will admit.... and be the first.... who doesn't wanna feel cool? who doesn't wanna be loved? who doesn't wanna be talked about in facebook chats and/or wall posts? but one thing i have learned... i'd rather be known for influencing somebody's life by helping them recognize their inner soul, rather than be known for wearing a retro/vintage blazer at "the loft". i'd rather be known as the girl people wanna take a walk with... rather than the girl people facebook stalk because she "clearly" knows the coolest people... only shops at nordstroms.... and is tagged in every utah county dance party known to man....

some people think that when people go off on rages like this they are just jealous... that they wish they really had what they mock? sure i guess some would? but world.... do you wanna know why i love lauren? because i can be by myself all day and feel like i accomplished so much just by knowing who lauren really is. i can honestly look in the mirror and smile because i like what i see.... and i'm not talking about physical... i'm actually proud of who i'm becoming. i feel like as i continue to dig deep... my whole self is becoming more and more radiant... the more i dig the more i find... the more i find the more i learn.... the more i learn the more i grow... and the more i grow the more i expand into something extravagant. my hope and prayer is that day by day i can reach out to others and help them realize what i am learning to see each and every day.

i enjoy the moments in my day where i get to pick apart my feelings, and evaluate why my mind reacted to what i felt. i get WAY to caught up in my mind and sometimes it takes me a while to realize how powerless i really am over other people's thoughts, stupid decisions, and even when i see those i love most putting on masks to role play who they think society wants them to be... it's hard... something so simple brings me back to home plate...."god... grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change... the courage to change the things i can... and the wisdom to know the difference..." the disease of codependency is sooooo real... i need to make a post solely on my story of a family addiction....