Decisions!

Decisions...I hate them! We all have to make them, but you know what??? Sometimes they SUCK!! Well, these past couple weeks I guess I feel like my world has caved in and I've had to learn a lot of things the really hard way, and I hate it! It's been really hard...and emotional to say the least, but I realize that we all go through trials and hardships...and as much as I hate to say it...they truly are the things that define us and make us who we are. Obstacles that are put in our way are there for a reason, despite how much we hate them! We can let them continue to trip us and make us fall, or we can pick ourselves up the first time and learn from them and allow them to teach us and let us grow (in ways that maybe we never knew we could before!)...It's been amazing to me to see how much you can learn and grow in such a short period of time.
Well, among all the obstacles of the month, there has been one MAJOR trial (which I don't care to mention at this time) that has really thrown me off, big time! It's really made me think....A LOT about who I am and what I do and don't want to be (does that even make sense?) But it has affected a lot of other decisions...and after much thought, I've had to make some other decisions which have been really hard. Anyway, I finalized one of these "other" decisions today. It was really, really hard for me to do and one that I wasn't planning to change until just recently, which seemed to make it even harder!
So I was supposed to leave here in a few weeks to head back over to Ghana (I went 2 years ago as an undergrad with a couple professors and some other students to work on some ongoing, collaborative research and help out with some health projects....and was planning to go back with one of the same professors as a graduate student) and then afterwards there were a few of us heading up to Mali and Burkina Faso to travel around a bit...and go to Timbuktu! Yes, it is a real place! Anyway, I know it may seem small and trivial to everyone else, but it's been a big deal to me (and maybe because it's cause it also has somewhat to do with the underlying, major trial that I do not want to discuss...but also how important this was to me). However, today I officially canceled my big trip. I was really excited and anticipating going back, but I guess sometimes life just has other things in store and things must sometimes be learned the hard way...and maybe one of the greatest lessons that has come from this (thanks to Scott Larsen) is that I can do ANYTHING, but I can't do EVERYTHING...and that some things are more important than other things that may seem just as important at the time.
Anyway, I really don't know if any of this blog makes sense...just blowing off some steam and thoughts...
Here are some pics from my trip to Ghana July of 2006