How does an ant eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Big problems are composed of smaller, albeit interconnected, problems. Solving the smaller problems will have an implication on the larger problems.
It's a new day and this is how I'm feeling! Love this song, love Franti and loving the positive vibes that a new day is bringing!
I wake up in the mornin' at 6 'o clock
You say there may be rain but the sun is hot
I wish I had some time just to kill today
And I wish I had a dime for every bill I got to pay
Some days you lose, you win, and the water's as high as the times roll in
So I jump back into where I learned to swim
Try to keep my head above it the best I can
That's why
Here I am
Just waitin' for the storm to pass me by
And that's the sound of sunshine
Comin' down
And that's the sound of sunshine
Comin' down (down, down, down)
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
One, two, three, uh huh
I saw my friend Bobby he said "What's up man?"
You got little work or 20 to lend
I opened up my hand he said "I'm glad to see"
They could take away my job but not my friends you see
And here I am
Just waitin' for the storm to pass me by (pass me by)
And that's the sound of sunshine
Comin' down
And that's the sound of sunshine
Comin' down
Yo, yo, here we go
I wanna go where the summer never ends
With my guitar on the beach there with all my friends
The sun so hot and the waves in motion
And everything smells like suntan lotion
The ocean, and the girls so sweet
So kick off your shoes and relax your feet
You say that miracles are never ceasin'
And every single song needs a little releasin'
The stereo bumpin' til the sun goes down
And I only wanna hear that sound
That's the sound of sunshine (of sunshine)
Comin' down
And that's the sound of sunshine
Comin' down (comin' down, down, down)
And I say
You're the one I wanna be with (yo, yo)
When the sun goes down (uh huh)
You're the one I wanna be with (I really wanna be with)
When the sun goes down, sing
You're the one I wanna be with
When the sun goes down
You're the one I wanna be with
When the sun goes...
That's the sound (that's the sound) of sunshine (of sunshine)
Comin' down (uh huh, uh huh)
And that's the sound of sunshine
Comin' down
Eh, eh, eh
When the sun goes down, when the sun goes down
Eh, eh, eh, eh (when the sun goes down)
This is my all time favorite Dave Matthews Band song. Thought I'd share. I honestly can't get enough of it!
Neon shines through smoky eyes tonight
It’s 2 am - I’m drunk again it’s heavy on my mind
I could never love again so much as I love you
Where you end where I begin is like a river going through
Take my eyes, take my heart cuz I need them no more
If never again they fall upon the one I so adore
Excuse me please one more drink
Could you make it strong cause I don’t need to think
She broke my heart my Grace is gone
One more drink and I’ll move on
One drink to remember, then another to forget
How could I ever dream to find sweet love like you again
One drink to remember, and another to forget
Excuse me please one more drink
Could you make it strong cause I don’t need to think
She broke my heart my Grace is gone
One more drink and I’ll move on
One more drink and I’ll be gone
You think of things impossible then the sun refused to shine
I woke with you beside me your cold hand lay in mine
Excuse me please one more drink
Could you make it strong cause I don’t need to think
She broke my heart my Grace is gone
One more drink and I’ll go
Excuse me please one more drink
Could you make it strong cause I don’t need to think
She broke my heart my Grace is gone
One more drink and I'll move on
One more drink and I’ll be gone
One more drink my Grace is gone
One more drink my Grace is gonetake
This is genius! I love it - such a catchy tune, but I love the video and especially the lyrics!
Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end
Always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
You didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
And I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know...
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
You didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Sensational. Spine-tingling. The stuff legends really are made of. Amy Winehouse's voice is charged with pain and her jazzy delivery serves to deepen the sense of soul and personality. It is an emotional sucker punch. She's got such an incredible voice! One of my favorites, actually.
Her personal problems were legendary - especially her addictions to alcohol and drugs. My friend, John, posted this to his facebook, "My work as a substance abuse counselor grants me daily insight, awareness, and compassion regarding the constant struggle, deep pain and, at times, seemingly insurmountable battle of addiction. Until we have walked in those shoes, let us not cast condemnation..." I think we are all too quick to judge the addict. What a sad life many of them live. However, I hope to one day see more success in programs and more support to those that suffer addictions. I have had the wonderful opportunity to teach and counsel people that are substance abusers - their pain and suffering is tangible. They are human beings that made an honest mistake that spiraled out of control. I am grateful for my time I have spent with these human beings. Most of them are wonderful people that have hopes and dreams - just like we all do.
The infamy overtook the artistry and this young artist seemed unable to get well enough to live up to the legend she had become. Such a pity to see such a young life fall to addictions. Rest in peace, Amy Winehouse. Thank you for sharing your talents.
22 July 2011
I am giving myself a complex! These damn bugs - I am not sure if they are centipedes or silverfish, but whatever they are, they need to take their party somewhere besides my room! I am secretly hoping that the life of an insect is much like a cartoon movie, where they all communicate to each other and know who and what to watch out for. In that case, I expect the whole community that seems to be nesting in my room, to move out tonight (or if I am lucky, sooner!). I have literally killed 3 adult of these whatevers and 5 babies....just tonight! On top of that, I killed one about 5 days ago. AND there is still at least one more adult running around my room somewhere - he is hiding, but I am determined to kill him, too when he comes back out of hiding! This is NOT okay and now I feel like they are crawling all over me!
Between the bugs and the heat wave that is hitting the East Coast, I feel like I am back in Africa! The heat index, which is what it actually feels like outside and is calculated by combining the actual temperature and humidity, reached 113 today - in some areas of Virginia, 123! Tomorrow it is expected to be even worse...reaching 115 or higher. In fact, this is actually quite unusual - the heat index hasn't hit 110 in over 7 years and it's been more than 15 years since it reached 115. Talk about living in a sauna! I just want to stop sweating!!
Because I love Apple so much, I thought I would promote my most recent purchase. It is pure genius, which is why I love this company so much (besides for their amazing customer service, which I have vouched for before). I recently bought the newest version of the ipod nano. With as much travel as I do, I decided it would be a great purchase - it takes up much less space and is much lighter than my regular ipod. It's not only a great purchase for traveling, but is also great because it clips on and is great to take running with me. In fact, when I first purchased the nano, I took it out for the first time to go running and dropped it in the parking lot of my gym, where the entire front shattered. I took it into the Apple Store, where they replaced it, without question..love them! Okay, so all that being said, I discovered today that it has a radio on it! You have no idea how excited this made me feel! I have been missing being able to drive, purely because that was my time to listen to NPR. I can now listen to NPR on my commute to work though. I love it! Best. Invention. Ever!
I love Adele's most recent popular tune. I love what she says at the beginning of this clip. I think we have all felt that moment of despair when it comes to relationships. Those moments of despair are always what change us and oftentimes make us better people. I ponder on her exact words a lot! I think about people I've been in love with...how would I treat them down the road if I were to see them again. Would I be able to walk up and carry out a conversation and be cordial? Or would I turn my back and run like hell, hoping that person doesn't see me before I am able to escape? I would like to think that I could take the higher road and be a decent person. However, sometimes people leave you in rotten situation, people do terrible things to you, leaving a bad taste in your mouth and other times it may just be a more simple heartbreak. I often think about running into my ex-fiance. The way things ended left me in a pit of the most awful feelings in the world. I can't even begin to explain the despair I felt and the pain I struggled through to make myself happy. The vast amounts of weight loss, the lakes of tears that were cried, the anxiety and countless hours of lost sleep thinking about it all, not to mention the debt that was left in my name. What would I do if I saw him? I wish I could say that I would be excited to see how he is, how life has been so good to him...but it's the opposite, I feel that I would probably run. I am glad he doesn't live close. However, there are other men that I have fallen for that I do truly wish nothing but the best for! The most recent at the top of the list! Sometimes its something more simple...distance, that keeps you apart. It doesn't discount that he is still one of the most amazing, inspiring, sincere, and wonderful men I have ever met! He is one I would never run from, like my ex-fiance, and one that I would always wish the best for. I think that is where this song has most meaning lately...it will work out sooner or later with him, or I would only want to find another best person...someone else like him and wish him the very, very best in life (because he deserves it)!
I feel occasionally that I relate to Adele, when she describes the feeling of running into that person down the road and they have moved on, with kids and a beautiful wife, and she is still on her own. I am okay being independent and alone. I have listened to my friends battling the depths of a bad relationships and horrifying divorces. I would rather be single forever than to have to go through what some of my closest friends have been through. However, I think about what it's like to be in love, with someone that is wonderful...I wish I had that sometimes. Anyway, just food for thought. Enjoy the song! I love Adele and love this beautiful tune!
I heard that you're settled down.
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.
Old friend why are you so shy?
It ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.
I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited.
But I couldn't stay away I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over.
Nevermind I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me I beg
I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love,
but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
but sometimes it hurts instead yeah.
You'd know how the time flies.
Only yesterday was the time of our lives.
We were born and raised in a summery haze.
Bound by the surprise of our glory days.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over yet.
Nevermind I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me I beg
I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love,
but sometimes it hurts instead"
Nothing compares
no worries or cares.
Regrets and mistakes they're memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
Nevermind I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me I beg,
I remembered you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love,
but sometimes it hurts instead"
Nevermind I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me I beg,
I remembered you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love,
but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
but sometimes it hurts instead
08 March 2011
Reminds me of ME :) I hope I have little girls that will learn easily like this! ha
I have to give a quick shout-out to the Apple Store at the Gateway. I have never had such great customer service in my entire life. Seriously. I have been more than pleased with the service I have received from them, especially the past 3 or 4 months!
A few months ago, my computer screen was doing funky things. After about a week of this it totally crapped out. The computer was still working, cause you could hear my music, my emails coming in, but the entire screen died. I took it in, anticipating buying a whole new computer. I had heard it was very expensive to replace your screen, depending on what was wrong with it and my computer was not under warranty anymore. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I took it in and they replaced my screen, hard drive and about 3 other things on it, updated all my programs, and handed it back to me at no charge. What? Cool! They had had the screen problem with a lot of other computers of my same model, so they were fixing them at no cost.
Yesterday, I go in there to talk to them about my battery. I bought a replacement battery almost a year ago. For the past 4 months or so, it has been saying, "service battery". So I finally found time to take it into the store, before I take off to DC. The guy told me to hang on a few minutes, came back and said, "There is nothing I can do, since you bought it at the Apple Now store (up in Fort Union), which is not an actual Apple store. You will have to take it up to them." Great! I just had come from them! They sent me to the Gateway! I told him that and he told me to come back and see him specifically if they kept giving me the run around. I called Apple Now (I think that is what it is called) and they have a 30 day out-the-door warranty, but I could try calling the manufacture, if I wanted. I ran back to the Apple store on my way home from work, found this nice gentleman, that had kindly helped me before, who told me to give him a few minutes to talk to his manager about the situation. Earlier he had told me if things didn't work out, he'd try and get me 50% off a new battery, so I just assumed that is what he was working on. He came out a few minutes later, apologized for the inconvenience and told me they wanted to apologize on behalf of Apple Now....and he handed me a brand new battery for my laptop. This may not sound like a big deal, but do you realize that those suckers cost about $150! Brand new; free. I thanked him about 1,000 times, after I offered to pay for half of it and he wouldn't let me.
SO NICE! That's all. What great customer service. Seriously!
Every time I watch this, it just makes me smile. What a fantastic feel-good clip!
09 March 2010
I can't sleep :( I am sitting here in bed, not really thinking about anything specific other than the fact that I don't feel 100% up to par.
I went to spin tonight. I always feel so great after I finish, hence, the only reason I continue to go. However, everything between the first 5 minutes into class when I am already sweating puddles to the moment we begin slowing down and start stretching, is a slow, torturous DEATH. I am not exaggerating. It's awful! Let me explain. Tonight, 7:02 to 7:06 was not your usual four minutes. This was 45 minutes of death. I have NEVER seen the clock move so slow in my entire life! Then again, 7:17 to 7:19. Two minutes you say?! No! Never, there were at least 3 hours of hell that in those two measly minutes. Again, the clock? I think it was broken!
Well, as my hell on the bike continued tonight, my lungs started on fire! Now...now the crap that has been sitting in my chest waiting to decide if it wanted to make me feel crappy or go away has now made it's decision, I think...I hope not, but fear the worst! My chest is burning. No bueno; not a good sign.
Now on top of this, I can't sleep! I'm exhausted! However, my co-worker has officially gotten me hooked on LOST. I am almost a bit embarrassed to say I have become one of those people! What can I say? I tried to jump into it in the middle of season 3, but didn't get it. I decided, when it started getting all sorts of hype, not to waste my time. It wasn't until this co-worker of mine told me she threw LOST parties. I caved. I felt left out; I was the new kid on the block (aka at work) and all the cool people were doing it! I wasn't going to, but then she told me she owned every season. So I decided since I didn't have to waste money renting them, that I would give it a chance. I watched 2; I told her I would give it one more and probably be done. I guess that three was the lucky number and somehow enticed me to spend all weekend wrapped up in my comforter, staring at my laptop...hitting "next" at the end of every episode. That is until...I came to the end of season one, with nothing but one unproductive weekend on my slate! Awesome. I'm an addict and my drug dealer is now withholding the second season. She came into my office today, waved in front of me and then told me I could not have it yet; the suspense had to build. I hate her for it. Okay, not really, but I wish I had it right now. I can't sleep! What better time!?!
Ugh. I have to be up in 5 hours for my Red Cross course. I suppose I should try to sleep...
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
I went to my yoga class, two days before Christmas. As we were headed into the last few minutes of class and into meditation mode, the instructor read this quote. I love it and wanted to share it!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
PS I am just starting his autobiography and am SOOOO excited about it! This man is incredibly inspiring and over the past year or two, as I have learned more about him, as become a hero of mine!
I was surfing CNN the other day and came across this article. I find it rather entertaining that people have actually done research on Barbie and what she'd look like sized up to an avg woman. I thought it was an interesting article semi honoring her 50th birthday, but I especially enjoyed the picture!
Clearly Barbie is very unrealistic when it comes to the shape of her body...but let's be honest, IT'S BARBIE!!! I loved Barbies growing up and never thought once about going anorexic or wanting plastic surgery cause I wanted to look like Barbie! Funny thing is, that is actually one of the nicknames that a few of the nurses and techs have given to me at the hospital. Don't get me wrong, I suppose it's flattering, but thank goodness I don't look like Barbie really!! People are crazy that go to great lengths to look like a Barbie! No thanks!
And ps...when the hell did Barbie decide to dump Ken!?!? Apparently they are not longer together, as of 2004? Weird.
What would a real life Barbie look like?
By Denise Winterman
BBC News Magazine
She turns 50 on Monday, but Barbie has a remarkable figure for a woman of any age. So what if you scaled her up to human proportions?
For a woman celebrating her half-century Barbie is remarkably unchanged from the young, fresh-faced Wisconsin girl who first came into the world on 9 March, 1959. And that's the problem.
Barbie Millicent Roberts is a woman with a very controversial reputation and mostly it stems from her long legs, tiny waist, ample bosom, slender neck and flowing blonde locks.
Some argue her body shape would be unobtainable and unsustainable if scaled up to life-size. They claim she would not be able to stand up because her body frame would be so unbalanced. A real life Barbie would simply fall over.
Can this be true? Her maker, Mattel, says it has never scaled her vital statistics to real-life dimensions. Of those who have - usually critics or academics - no one has come up with a definitive answer as to exactly what her measurements would be.
Serious research on the subject has drawn certain conclusions. Academics from the University of South Australia suggest the likelihood of a woman having Barbie's body shape is one in 100,000. So not impossible, but extremely rare. Researchers at Finland's University Central Hospital in Helsinki say if Barbie were life size she would lack the 17 to 22% body fat required for a woman to menstruate. So again, not an unachievable figure, but certainly not a healthy one.
But the vital statistics they used in their studies are not readily available. Mattel has a standard set of measurements for Barbie, but dolls can vary slightly so any self-respecting researcher would measure one themselves. Do the maths
So, one trip to the toy shop and one measuring session with "Tricky Triplets Barbie" later, these are the vital statistics the Magazine was left with:
bust 4.6ins (11.6cm)
waist 3.5ins (8.9cm), and
hips 5ins (12.7cm)
Next, step forward our real life model, Libby, aged 27 - who is a slim, but unremarkable size 10/12. Applying Barbie's proportions to Libby's body yields some interesting results.
If Libby's waist size of 28ins (71.1cm) were to remain unchanged, then applying Barbie's proportions to her would mean Libby shoots up in height, to an Amazonian at 7ft 6ins (2.28m) tall. That's just two inches shorter than the world's tallest woman, Yao Defen. She would also have hips measuring 40ins (101.6cm) and a bust of 37ins (83.9cm).
But what if, instead, Libby's height of 5ft 6ins (1.68m) was to remain unchanged. Doing the maths, Libby would have an extraordinarily tight waist of just 20ins (50.8cm), while her bust would be 27ins (68.5cm) and her hips 29ins (73.6cm). Even the famously slight Victoria Beckham reportedly only has a 23ins (58.4cm) waist. But neither are they unheard of - Brigitte Bardot was famous for her 20ins (50.8cm) waist.
"People keep repeating this suggestion that Barbie would fall over and have to crawl around if she was real size, but it's just not the case," says Moira Redmond, writer and Barbie fan. "I find this suggestion more misogynistic than anything Barbie is accused of standing for. It's a nasty, sexual image.
"I've done my own calculations and she definitely doesn't have the dimensions of most people, but they are no means grossly abnormal. I'm sure the measurements of baby dolls aren't accurate but no one criticises them."
But others insist the proportions are unrealistic at best and damaging at worst.
"Barbie's body shape and proportions are among the many things that play up to this 'thin ideal' which is ubiquitous these days," says Professor Janet Treasure, an expert on body size and image at the Institute of Psychiatry at King's College London. "The promotion of dolls with such a body shape, and other things like size zero, have wider public health implications, like an increased risk of eating disorders." Human Barbie
But one walking, talking "doll" says there's nothing wrong in wanting to be Barbie-like. Sarah Burge was dubbed the "real-life Barbie" by the press after having plastic surgery reportedly worth £500,000. She has run with the idea, making a lucrative career out of marketing herself as a life-size version of the doll.
"I actually agree she would probably look a bit freaky if life size but as a doll she looks fantastic," she says. "There's nothing wrong in using her as a role model when it comes to looks, as well as attitude to life. At the end of the day you don't see a personality from across a room do you.
"It's empowering for women to be who they want to be and not just live with the body and face they were born with."
And women might be justified in feeling more undermined by the Barbie phenomenon than men. Take Ken - Barbie's long-time model consort. When researchers at the University of South Australia scaled up Mr Barbie to life-size proportions, they concluded that the chances of a man having his body shape is one in 50.
That's a lot more achievable than one in 100,000, giving weight to the argument that pressure is put on girls and women to be an unrealistic size.
But as Ken knows, a good body is no guarantee of happiness. Barbie dumped him on Valentine's Day in 2004, after dating him for more than 43 years. Love her or hate her, she's an independent woman.
Okay, so I am posing two questions here and NEED feedback!
1- What is typical American food!?! I can't answer this. I dont' know what would be considered a typical American dish, because you think about majority of our food and it's from somewhere else!
2- Those from Utah, or I suppose that know Utah, what would be a typical dish from Utah?! And DON'T say jello please! Cause let's be honest, jello in all forms (except Mom's Christmas jello) is generally not the best thing in the world!
I am the only American in the Emergency Operations Center at work and they have asked me this second question a few times. I guess the unit has a party every spring where we bring cuisine from our hometown. I couldn't think of anything but casseroles and jello :(
As for the other question, traveling a lot, you get asked this question. I can never answer it. The only thing I think of is Hamburgers and Hot Dogs - your typical BBQ. However, I don't generally eat beef or pork so I would love to think of another American dish!
So, as you all know, I've been couch hopping for quite sometime now. But now I am doing it in D.C. while I find a place to live. So i'm on craigslist tonight and I kid you not, found this roommate add and I just had to share it! I was laughing so hard. I can't decide if this is someone being serious (which wouldn't surprise me) or if someone just needed a good laugh and had some extra time on their hands.
I own a 2 bedroom condominium in Rosslyn, VA. This condo is completely paid off, so I just need my female roommate to pay half the utilities, which is approximately $100 a person. There is no rent payment. The condo is walking distance to the Rosslyn metro station, Key Bridge and Georgetown.
I am a 28 year old male. I'm slim/athletic (I work out 5 times a week), good looking (people say so and I did some modeling in the past), clean, disease free, and a lot of fun to hang out with. I dress well, and I'm very normal, if not awesome. I have been told that I look exactly like Wilmer Valderrama from The 70s Show. I'll attach his pics so you know who I'm talking about.
Here's the catch: I'm looking for a friends with benefits relationship with my female roommate. You are free to date or have a relationship with whoever you want. However, when we are in the apartment alone, we would regularly mess around. This would be one of the things we do to pass the time in between meals, television watching, tidying up, or whatever random things we each have going on. This would all be casual and friendly. It would also be our little secret. Like I said, this would not interfere with whatever else we each have going on with our lives.
I'm a very normal guy, and my apartment is great. Your room is unfurnished. We would share a full bathroom. I keep a very tidy apartment so I expect you to do the same.
If this arrangement sounds like something you can do, shoot me an e-mail with your pic or full description and something about yourself. Only respond if you are serious and comfortable with this kind of arrangement. Please, no males.
Oklahoma and Florida can battle for the BCS. But we've already crowned the true national champ.
by Rick Reilly
Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images
The Utes trampled Alabama to complete a perfect season. How are they not national champions?
Some gifts people give are pointless: Styling mousse to Dick Vitale. An all-you-can-eat card to Kate Moss. The BCS Championship given to Oklahoma or Florida.
It means nothing because the BCS has no credibility. Florida? Oklahoma? Who cares? Utah is the national champion.
The End. Roll credits.
Argue with this, please. I beg you. Find me anybody else that went undefeated. Thirteen-and-zero. Beat four ranked teams. Went to the Deep South and seal-clubbed Alabama in the Sugar Bowl. The same Alabama that was ranked No. 1 for five weeks. The same Alabama that went undefeated in the regular season. The same Alabama that Florida beat in order to get INTO the BCS Championship game in the first place.
Yeah, that's how it is now in the shameful, money-grubbing world of college football. If you're Florida and you beat Alabama, you get a seat in the title game. If you're Utah, you get a seat on your sofa.
Hey, remind me: What do they give out for one of those BCS things anyway? It's been so long since I cared. Something from Sears? This is the sixth year in the past 10 that the title has been in dispute under this cash-grab, fan-dis, monopoly that the BCS has created. Which is why the title game just doesn't matter anymore. It's like being named Miss Ogallala. Or Best Amish Electrician.
Just take a look at the teams that think they're worthy of being called national champs:
USC? Great year. Wonderful. Let's all go to SkyBar and celebrate. But it lost to Oregon State, a team Utah beat.
Texas? You think beating Ohio State by a nubby three points gets you the title? The Big Ten was 1-6 in bowl games! That's like pinning David Spade!
Florida and Oklahoma? They lost. Utah never did.
So that's it. Utah is the national champion. The Utes should probably have two now, actually. They went undefeated in 2004, too, and their coach still thinks they were the best team in the land. Smart fella named Urban Meyer. Coaches Florida now.
By the way, we're calling our title the "national" championship because it actually includes the whole nation—all 119 Division I schools—unlike the BCS, which includes 66. Yeah, the BCS somehow eliminated the middleman—the NCAA. The conferences these schools play in take their dump trucks full of cash straight from the TV networks and fairness can go suck a lemon.
Nettie Tien
The Utes won't get the trophy they really deserve, so we gave them one of our own design.
Do me a favor. Call Ohio State president Gordon Gee and ask him why he won't support a playoff. He's one of the most powerful presidents in the NCAA. He could get it done. If he says anything other than, "We don't want to share the loot" then you know he's lying his bow tie off.
"This is not how we normally do things in America," says Utah president Michael Young. "In America, quality usually wins, not conspiracy. And there's a reason people usually enter into a conspiracy. It's money. You make money doing it. And those that are in on the conspiracy want to stay in and keep everybody else out."
Sure, BCS blowhards will hand you schlock about how the college football season is like a playoff, how it's an elimination tournament every week. Really? Well, how come Florida and Oklahoma weren't eliminated with their losses? Utah ran the table, beat everybody set in front of them, including Ala-damn-bama in no less than the Sugar Bowl, and gets the bagel.
Oh, by the way? It was Utah's eighth straight bowl win, the nation's longest streak. Among the losers during that run? Let's see USC, Georgia Tech, Pittsburgh, and now the legendary Houndstooth Hats.
"What else do we have to prove?" asks Utah's magical quarterback, Brian Johnson. Good question. He and the Utes essentially whipped Alabama at home. Handed Nick Saban a garlic necklace to wear the entire offseason. Stepped on his team's neck 21-0 in the first three possessions and never looked back. Let's see. Who was it that was losing to Alabama until nearly six minutes into the fourth quarter? Oh, yeah. Florida.
What, you want the Utes to win a spelling bee? Make a prize-winning souffle? Knock up Angelina Jolie? What?
It just slays me. It really does.
Call Myles Brand, president of the asleep-at-the-wheel NCAA, and ask him if he and his greedy presidents are going to stand in defiance of president-elect Barack Obama, who said again this week he wants a playoff and wants it yesterday.
Call Atlantic Coast Conference commissioner and BCS bully John Swofford and ask him what he's going to do if Obama starts asking the Justice Department to look into anti-trust violations against the BCS. The Utah attorney general has already launched an investigation into that very thing.
Ask him what he'll do if Obama asks the Department of Education to consider withholding federal funds from these schools that have entered into his secret club. You don't think playing in the title game means millions in general-fund donations for a school? That's as unfair as anything Title IX fought against.
Until all these people do the right thing, I'll be celebrating with the true national champions — the undefeated, untied Utah Utes. (Our new slogan: Utahk about a team!)
Lemonades for everybody!
