Road to Lost Innocence

"What you have learned, from experience, is worth much  more than gold. Any kind of possession can be lost, but your experience is yours forever. Keep it and find a way to use it."

I just finished reading The Road of Lost Innocence, the true story of a Cambodian Heroine (I put a summary of the book @ the end of this post). Again, like majority of the books that I read, if you can handle the content, I highly recommend this one! What an inspiration this writer and  her story are, despite how painful it is for her to write, and was for me to read! I sat on a flight as I finished the last half of this book, bawling, with strangers staring at me. I didn't care; I was totally engulfed in her story and how resilient this woman is and how she has taken her trials and tribulations and has used those experiences to assist other girls, that have a similar story to her own. 

Somaly's story is one that much of the world turns a blind eye to, unfortunately. However, it does not alter the ugly reality. Her story is one though, that reveals hope and inspiration, while revealing the terror and horror of what it is like to be sold into the lucrative human trafficking industry. All too often young girls in SE Asia (as well as so many other parts of the world) are sold into the brothels and wind up entangled in the ugly snares of the sex trafficking world.

"She used to ask me whether there was a God and why he allowed such things to happen to a little girl who had never done anything wrong."

I wish that more people would read books such as these, for one reason mainly - so that people could have an open perspective on issues. It breaks my heart and I find myself getting very defensive when anyone begins talking poorly of prostitutes, which is all too often the case. I don't think people think about situations that this book describes, and for those that do think about it, many don't realize that this sort of thing happens in developed countries, especially not the USA. It may not happen to the extent it does in SE Asia, for example, however, all too often a prostitute is not on the street by her/his own choice. There are a variety of reasons one may end up in prostitution, which may not always include being forced into it by another person. Financial situations all too often will play a role in prostitution. I think most of us would agree that a mother's love is often unconditional and she will find any way possible not to watch her children starve, even if that means selling her own body on the streets for money to buy food for her little ones. I suppose the point I am getting at, is that I wish people would see prostitution differently than they often do; I wish that the laws and those that enforce those laws would see it differently and that it generally isn't the prostitute isn't the one doing harm, but more those that are soliciting the sex. I wish there were laws that would protect these women (and men); laws that would allow for them to carry condoms or would allow for them to access healthcare more easily and that they would not be arrested for selling sex. I know there are always exceptions to every situation, but in this line of work, we don't ever know the whole story and I think we all should think before negatively speaking of anyone!

AFESIP was created by Somaly and her ex-husband. The organization started small, but today, is a growing organization that does a variety of things, including: Legal investigation, HIV/AIDS prevention, rehabilitation and reintegration. The organization also does a lot of education and training, which targets both the women and the men. The men are oftentimes shown a video of a young girl recounting how she had been raped - every detail - and then have an open conversation about sex. There has been great success in all that has been done, overall. However, one of the most difficult problems encountered in this type of work, is how to integrate these girls back into society so they don't feel they need to go back to the brothels. When a young girl enters, or is sold into, a brothel, they are broken down to the point that they will submit themselves to whatever it is the owner is asking. During this process, the girls are given high doses of drugs and alcohol, which becomes one of the biggest barriers to the work AFESIP, or any other organization in the field, does. These girls become addicted and have a very difficult time overcoming that, which occasionally will draw the girls, "willingly", back into the industry.

Some statistics that I pulled from a recent report I read on the topic:

• Last year, 2,888 people were charged with having sex with children under 15 in Thailand
• SE Asian nations are the destination of choice for sex tourists looking to prey on children
• Most of the clients of Cambodian prostitutes are locals, but some are foreigners
• Very profitable business - traffickers earn a lot of money, especially if the girl is young (her virginity can be sold at a very high price)
• With such high profits made by traffickers, it makes it very easy to bribe whoever they want; all to often justice is for sale.

Somaly's closing remarks were this, "I still feel that I'm dirty and that I carry bad luck. When I sleep, my dreams are filled with violence and rape. Most of my dreams are nightmares. Last night I dreamed again of serpents crawling in my trousers. I've tried to rid myself of these nightmares, but they continue to haunt me. Consulting a psychologist isn't enough. I did that. I've tried a great many things. But the past is inscribed on my body now. When you see the marks on your skin, the scars of torutre and cigarette burns, the shape of the chains on your ankles, you feel the past can never be wiped away. You carry the marks of the suffering. They're just there. But that's precisely why I carry on with the work of AFESIP. [The work] for me, it's different. I'm one of them. Everything they've been through, I share. I wear their scars on my body and in my soul. Writing this book has brought everything back, and I can no longer sleep. It makes me sick. I have nightmares remember all the horrors. Somethings I don't know if I can bear to keep living them...that is one of the reasons I decided to write this book. Perhaps it will stop me from having to tell my story over and over again, because repeating it is so difficult.  I want everyone to know now what is happening to the women of Cambodia."

This woman has given up her own dream of a quiet life, to be a public figure and a foundation for the girls that share her same terrorizing past. When she is asked how she can bear to keep doing what she does, she always responds, "the evil that's been done to me is what propels me on." As I mentioned in an older post (about another inspiring story I read), it is people like these that should be the heroes and that should be more recognized in our media! Unfortunately, these are the people that we don't hear much about. Instead we hear of movie stars, who are just like any other person, and the people that are creating havoc in our society. How could this happen, when there are people like Somaly, who have a beautiful story that we can all learn from!

About Somaly and The Road of Lost Innocence:

Title: The Road of Lost Innocence

Author: Somaly Mam (Translated from French by Lisa Appignanesi)

SOMALY MAM

Born to a tribal minority family in the Mondulkiri province of Cambodia, Somaly Mam began life in extreme poverty. With limited options as a severely marginalized ethnic group, and living in unimaginable despair, her family often resorted to desperate means to survive. This confluence of dire circumstances led to the unspeakable horrors that would mark Somaly’s early years. Somaly was sold into sexual slavery by a man who posed as her grandfather. To this day, due to the passing of time and the unreliability of a wounded memory, Somaly still does not know who this man was to her. Yet his actions set her on an unimaginable path fraught with danger, desperation, and ultimately, triumph.

Forced to work in a brothel along with other children, Somaly was brutally tortured and raped on a daily basis. One night, she was made to watch as her best friend was viciously murdered. Fearing she would meet that same fate, Somaly heroically escaped her captors and set about building a new life for herself. She vowed never to forget those left behind and has since dedicated her life to saving victims and empowering survivors.

In 1996, Somaly established a Cambodian non-governmental organization called AFESIP (Agir Pour les Femmes en Situation Precaire). Under Somaly’s leadership, AFESIP employs a holistic approach that ensures victims not only escape their plight but have the emotional and economic strength to face the future with hope. With the launch of The Somaly Mam Foundation in 2007, Somaly has established a funding vehicle to support anti-trafficking organizations and to provide victims and survivors with a platform from which their voices can be heard around the world.

For her tireless efforts, Somaly has justifiably garnered worldwide respect and is now a renowned leader at the forefront of the anti-trafficking struggle. Universally recognized as a visionary for her courage, dignity, ingenuity, and resilience, Somaly was honored as one of Time® Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People of 2009 and was featured as a CNN® Hero. She is also the recipient of the Prince of Asturias Award for International Cooperation, The World’s Children’s Prize for the Rights of the Child (WCPRC), Glamour Magazine’s 2006 Woman of the Year Award, and has won accolades from the US Department of Homeland Security.

On the book:

The horror and violence perpetrated on young girls to feed the sex trade industry in southeast Asia is personalized in this graphic story. Of mixed race, Khmer and Phnong, Mam is living on her own in the forest in northern Cambodia around 1980 when a 55-year-old stranger claims he will take her to her missing family. Grandfather beats and abuses the nine-year-old Mam and sells her virginity to a Chinese merchant to cover a gambling debt. She is subsequently sold into a brothel in Phnom Penh, and the daily suffering and humiliation she endures is almost impossible to imagine or absorb (I was dead. I had no affection for anyone). She recounts recalcitrant girls being tortured and killed, and police collusion and government involvement in the sex trade; she manages to break the cycle only when she discovers the advantages of ferengi (foreign) clients and eventually marries a Frenchman. She comes back to Cambodia from France, now unafraid, and with her husband, Pierre; sets up a charity, AFESIP, action for women in distressing circumstances; and fearlessly devotes herself to helping prostitutes and exploited children. The statistics are shocking: one in every 40 Cambodian girls (some as young as five) will be sold into sex slavery. Mam brings to the fore the AIDS crisis, the belief that sex with a virgin will cure the disease and the Khmer tradition of women's obedience and servitude. This moving, disturbing tale is not one of redemption but a cry for justice and support for women's plight everywhere.

Really great CNN report on Human/Sex Trafficking