In Loving Memory...

This has been a very long time in coming! I had it started but am not very good at updating my blog, so it's been sitting in my unfinished box, waiting to be finished and posted. So let me now finish.

Back at the beginning of November I received a phone call. The phone rang; it was the hospital's number. I thought about answering and decided not to (I had gotten in a bit of trouble with HR the day before. I had quite a few 1-5 minute tardies that they were upset about - kind of a joke, but whatever, it was what it was). There was a voice mail that quickly followed, so I listened and it was one of the nurses that used to be a manage, who now does my schedule. Her voice sounded a bit shaken up as she asked that I please call her back asap. I picked up the phone and immediately called her back. She informed me that she was calling cause she knew that, because of the strange hours I have worked over my 8 years at the hospital, I had become very, very close to Jenny Seegmiller and that she wanted me to know that Jenny had passed away. "WHAT!?!?! Can't be right...no, not Jenny!" was my answer back. I was in utter shock! Jenny was my OR mom! A very special person to me; someone that knew more about me than most people at the hospital! All I could do was cry and cry. I couldn't finish the conversation. I stopped long enough to ask what had happened and when. All the voice on the other end could say was that she didn't really know; the cops had found her dead in her house after she hadn't shown up for two shifts at work. I kindly thanked her for letting me know and spent a good portion of the rest of my day crying.

When I got to work the next morning, many of my questions were quickly answered. There were a lot of rumors going around Surgical Services, which made me anger. Most people didn't know Jen very well because she was a very private person and extremely stubborn - it was mostly only those that had either worked with her a long time or worked the crazy hours with her that really appreciated her and had taken the time to REALLY get to know her and learn from her. In fact, it even took me and Jen some time to warm up to each other, but not long. Because we worked all the graveyards, holidays and weekend shifts together, starting not too long after I had started at the hospital, we became close friends. Jen never had kids, but always told Steph and I (who she called the "Bobsy twins") that we were her children; I was her firstborn. She made me promise her all the time that I would work there the rest of her life. If I ever left the country to work, she wanted me to promise her that I would fly back for my Sunday shift. Jen shared in my happiness when something good happened in my life, she cried with me when I went through my big breakup and flopped proposal. She never missed my birthday, Christmas or either of my graduations - always had a gift and a nice card for me. The last that I received from her was a card and money for graduation. She told me she loved me and cherished our friendship and that she knew she couldn't keep me trapped in the hospital forever, but that I better at least visit her.

So, back to my questions being answered. I got to work that Friday morning. One of the anesthesiologist that I am very dear friends with called me. He asked me what was going on; he had seen some facebook posts mentioning how they will miss Jenny. I told him what I had heard and he was very upset, but then told me that he didn't think she was "that sick". I said, "excuse me?" He then told me that he had known that she had Lymphoma, that Jen had told him a couple years back but didn't want anyone to know it was her. So for awhile, she covered it all up by asking a few doctors questions about lymphoma, cause her "friend had it". She later told this anesthesiologist that her friend that she had told him about was actually her, but that she was doing well...that everything was under control. I guess whether or not it was actually the Lymphoma that really killed her in the end, or something she may have picked up during her trip to Mexico, which she had just made, we'll never know. But either way, it breaks my heart that she died alone, without anyone. Such a typical Jen move, not wanting to inconvenience anyone or gather any pity from anyone. Damn her! No one should ever have to die alone and it breaks my heart that she did.

I miss her. A lot. Still now, even though it has been quite a few months. I think about her every Sunday during my shift and crave to have one of our long heart-to-heart conversations. She was an amazing person. Jen had one of the kindest hearts and a passion for caring about those that were close to her. She always told me that if I moved back to DC, that she wanted to come visit me during the Cherry Blossom Festival, because she couldn't think of too many things more lovely. I will always think of her when I see the Cherry Blossoms. I am so happy to have known her!!

Here is her obituary:

After a courageous battle with a lengthy illness, Jenny Seegmiller passed away on October 28, 2009. She was born in Brigham City on April 5, 1952, but spent most of her life in Salt Lake City. Nevertheless, a big part of her heart was always in Brigham City with her Shaw relatives. The other part of her heart was with the Seegmillers in Cedar City. She never tired of visiting there, especially if it involved time at the ranch. Even if she planned to sleep in, you could find her up early on the porch to watch the sunrise, or in front of the windows if it was too cold. She didn't want to miss anything.
Jenny was first a caregiver, doting on patients, friends, family and co-workers. She was devoted to her work as a surgical nurse in the operating rooms of LDS hospital and the new IHC Medical Center for more than 35 years. If someone she knew was having a procedure, Jenny was always there for extra support and help, even if it meant coming in for an extra shift. Late each fall, Jenny would take time off work to make jelly, peanut brittle and her special cookies to give to friends and co-workers. Even with her illness, she left a supply to be distributed at Thanksgiving.
Jenny is survived by her mother Barbara (Harold) Clayton of Huntsville, AL, father Garn Seegmiller of St. George, UT, brother Jon, sister Heidi, niece Alta, nephew Kristian, as well as loving aunts, uncles and cousins too numerous to mention.
After a family service, a visitation will be held from 2 until 3:30 p.m. at Evans and Early Mortuary, 574 East 100 South, Salt Lake City.